An Angel Amongst Us

At the risk of offending some people... (Which I am OFTEN told by my brother Vic that I do!) and is not my intention (and am asking forgiveness now just in case) I would like to share a story that happened to me on Tuesday. When our mother passed away some teachers from her school donated money to Deborah Hospital and had her name added to the tree of life. With the acknowledgement card a tin maple leaf charm with the name Deborah Hospital imprinted on the back is sent to the family. The first Christmas without my mother I received a gift from my husband...He took the charm and had it made into real gold so that I may wear it always. I often get asked about this charm as people seem to think it is a pot leaf. (But to those of us that know a pot leaf is much thinner! LOL!) The day after I learned the news of Patrick I immediately called Deborah and sent for a leaf so he could be on the tree with mom. I rushed to the jewelers to have it made into real gold and have it in time for the funeral. I am friends with the jewelers and she was able to make it happen but asked me to return with it to put some finishing touches on it after the funeral. I was able to return to her on Tuesday and she said I would like to engrave each name and date so you can tell which is for whom. Wonderful. Well, I could not remember the year my mom passed. I said 1993 but wait let me go call Vic and double check. I go to the car and my daughter says Mom Uncle Vic just called. WOW! I was just calling him...Jenna calls and says Mom needs the year mom-mom passed away. 1994. Are you sure? Well since it's tattooed on me it better be right! (Which brings me to the I don't want to offend anyone by sharing this part of the story.) At L2 on Saturday night several of us were discussing Tattoos. I want to get one with Vic in memory of Patrick. I ask Tai to share his Coqui story and tattoo. He proudly unbuttons his shirt and says how Patrick and he got them placed over their hearts together.... Vic says in his dry way...Tai, you do realize your heart is on the other side of your chest? While in the jewelers and the whole mix up date thing brought the memory of this event from Saturday to mind and I couldn't stop grinning and laughing the rest of the day. My first instinct was to go home and call and share this story with PATRICK. To hear him laugh to. The next best thing I decided was to call Kate and Marlana and share the story. I couldn’t reach Kate and when Marlana answered she sounded awful. I then learned she had just returned from the hospital after being in a near fatal car crash while on the job and she thought I was calling because of it. I until this point knew nothing about it. Needless to say I stopped grinning and after hearing her story was once again crying until she said....
Fran, I could have been and probably should be dead right now...except
I HAD AN ANGEL SITTING BESIDE ME. We all know who that is.
Thanks Patrick for being there and Marlana please have a speedy recovery because we need to get those tattoos as I think if I remember right Vic said I am waiting for this phase to pass in Fran’s life! (This is another story for another time)

My Favorite Patrick Picture

RESPONSE TO MARLANAS PEACE..

THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SISTER MARLANA,
I CANNOT THANK-YOU ENOUGH FOR THE COURAGE IT MUST HAVE TOOK FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO WRITE AND EXPRESS WHAT I AM SURE A LOT OF US ARE ALSO FEELING THIS MORNING. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT MY HUSBAND AND I HAD A CONVERSATION IN THE CAR LAST NIGHT ON OUR FINAL DESTINATION HOME AND HARRY SAID ( AND I QUOTE SOME EXCERTS FROM THE CONVERSATION) FRAN, I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT PATRICK HAD MARLANA IN HIS LIFE. NOT THAT I AM TRYING TO TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM ANY ONE ELSE ....JUST THAT MY HEART ACTUALLY ACHED FOR THAT LITTLE GIRL LAST NIGHT. PATRICK AND I STARTED OFF OUR RELATIONSHIP ROCKY BUT THROUGH THE YEARS HE AND I HAVE COME TO LOVE AND UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. I AM SO GLAD THAT I HAD ONE MORE CHANCE TO SEE HIM AT CHRISTMAS AND AM NOW SO HAPPY THAT YOU FORCED ME TO ATTEND THAT PARTY AT CHRISTMAS AND ATTEND THAT TRIBUTE LAST NIGHT. I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN RIGHT NOW! YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THAT GIRL AND MAKE SURE SHE IS INCLUDED IN EVERY FAMILY FUNCTION FROM THIS POINT ON AND I MEAN IT!
( TO THOSE THAT DO NOT KNOW MY HUSBAND AND ARE READING THIS HE IS A QUIET KICKED BACK GUY THAT DOESN'T SAY MUCH UNTIL HE'S HAD A FEW BEERS! ALSO HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TURN ON THE COMPUTER LET ALONE USE IT OR EVEN KNOW WHAT A BLOG IS!)
HE GOES ON TO SAY.....SHE IS THE ONE CONSISTENT PERSON I REMEMBER IN YOUR BROTHERS LIFE AND SHE IS NOW YOUR SISTER AND MINE TO. AND YOU TREAT HER LIKE THAT! AND ANOTHER THING...AS A MATTER OF FACT ALL THOSE PEOPLE THERE...YOU STAY IN TOUCH WITH THEM AND WERE GOING TO HAVE THEM HERE AT OUR HOUSE,THEY WERE WONDERFUL.
(AT THIS POINT WE ARRIVED HOME AND I TUCKED HIM INTO BED AND HE WAS ASLEEP IN MINUTES! LOL!) I HAD TO LAUGH BECAUSE THOSE OF YOU THAT KNOW ME IT SOUNDED LIKE ONE OF MY SOAP BOX SPEECHES!
THAT SAID THE ONLY THING LEFT TO SAY IS:
WE LOVE YOU MARLANA KIRK

Thank-You

I Love each and everyone of you. I would like to thank everyone by name but it would take up the whole web site. The purpose of this is to share a little of my many thoughts of today. First I want to say I am sitting here in the quiet after all is done and I sit alone in the dark and quiet and have Bring Him Home playing on continous play as I am writing this.Today was the most beautiful memorial service I have ever attended. I am proud and honered that my brother was so loved and that his friends and many of our family and friends were so kind enough to share in our sorrows and memories. As many of you know I was taking this very hard....but tonight after sharing with each and everyone of you I am at peace. I especially have to say Thank-you to my brother Vic. He put so much time and effort into this and my dad for being so strong. To my beautiful brother Patrick for introducing me to all of his wonderful friends. I feel that I may have lost a brother for a little while but have gained an extended family that includes many new brothers and sisters now.
As I listen to this song it can take so many meanings to me. We did it. We brought him home and although he was young I believe he is at peace.
For thoughs of you who were not able to attend phsically we know you were there in spirit and support. Again thank-you and if you want a copy to hear this beautiful melody please e-mail me and I wll send you a copy of the song. Also if you would like a laminated copy of his obituary please include your address in the e- mail and the cemeterary will mail you one. Please write to FAMADISON2@aol.com. I want to keep in touch with all of you.
Thank-You for being my brothers friends AND BECOMING MINE.
love, Fran

What Did Mom and Dad Expect??

(they dressed him in "VELVET PANTS"!!)

Patrick & Karen

Since Dad and Shirley have been together, Karen, Shirley's daughter has become our "sister". This was taken on Patrick's visit to Florida this past Christmas at Karen's house

Thank-You Jeff

Thank-You Jeff for giving our dad & Patrick a wonderful day at Universal Studios this past Christmas. It created a wonderful memory as well as a laugh about Bill Cosby!

First Impressions Last

Although I lived in the Philly area for 6 years, the night I met Patrick I was a visitor. Driving from my current home in North Carolina, I had stopped for the night in Philly on my way to Cape Cod. I was walking out of Woody's when I saw him sitting at a table with someone; talking and, of course, laughing. I stopped because I thought he'd said something to me, which he hadn't, but that was all the introduction he needed.

Many hours, many stories, and many, many smiles later, we were still talking on his rooftop patio as the sun rose over Philadelphia. It was, as Humphrey Bogart said, "The start of a beautiful friendship".

The next day, in Cape Cod, I was still so taken with Patrick, and with what seemed to be such a wonderfully unique experience, that I wrote this poem:

Beautiful Boy

So Striking. So Fair.
But no casual beauty, his.

Dark eyes draw deep, to a wisdom far beyond his years
Forged in suffering, and victory.
He has tasted life and it dances in his eyes.

No cold beauty, his.

His sweet, tender lips fly into smile. Welcoming. Warm.
His laughter is contagious. The very joy of life.

No hardened beauty, his.

A strong, fine body. Graceful and assured
But a soul both fragile and defiant.
Such innocence. Such strength.

No common beauty, his.

A gift. A pearl.
The blossoming rose overlooked.
To touch such promise, such hope, such fire,
Is to be changed forever

By the light of a beautiful boy.

It's not that the poem is particularly good, what's amazing to me is that only a few hours with Patrick left me with such a vivid image of who he was. And as far as the experience being wonderfully unique...well, it certainly was wonderful...but the magical thing about Patrick is that meeting him, spending time with him and growing to love him is a completely unique experience that we all somehow have in common.

Sharing that night on the roof with Patrick allowed me to view Philadelphia from a perspective I'd never seen before. Sharing my life with Patrick allows me to view the world from a perspective I'd never seen before. In that way, Patrick will always be with me. With us. And for that, I'm eternally grateful.

Flagging

For older folks (like me) who may be reading this, it's easier to figure out what "flagging" is if you see a picture. It is a phenomenon (that I missed completely) at nightclubs and parties. Young people do it to music while they’re dancing. Kind of like a baton or flag twirler in a parade (or those people in the Olympics with the ribbons.) I hope this helps any youth challenged viewers.

Does Anyone Know How To Reach Mark?

Patrick's Notice in the PGN

Today the weekly edition of the Philadelphia Gay News hit the streets - in it is Patrick's article. The PGN is free and available throughout the city - however, I have copied the article and made it into a picture. Click the picture for the full size version.

You're Ugly & Your Sister Dresses You Funny

Patrick's desire to be on stage was almost destroyed when his sister made him wear this hideous jumpsuit in her high school fashion show.

Believe it or not, Fran was a design tailoring student. Unfortunately, both her brothers developed greater domestic talents. She missed out on the "sewing gene" [if you know what I mean ;)]

The Memories and Spirit of Patrick from Annapolis,MD

I didn't know how to do the blogs to write a memories about Patrick so I'm writing to you.The Memories and Spirit of Patrick.After reading all the stories from Patricks friends and family its no suprise that Patrick had so many friends from all over the states that are talking about how they met him and what a great person he was. I remember calling Aunt Pat and said I was with Mark at his work in N J and asked how far is it to get to her house. She said stop by and see me and Patrick. Mark and I stopped by to visit, and Aunt Pat said Patrick I want you to play the piano for your cousin. Thats when I knew he was gifted and Pat was so proud of him.I was so inspired by Patrick playing the piano when he was young, I wanted to get my daughter Ashley into playing the piano, so I asked Aunt Pat for some advise to get Ashley started and we did. Thanks Aunt Pat and Patrick she loves playing the piano.The last time I saw Patrick is when he came to visit my mother and said Aunt Flo I heard you have lung cancer and I'm going to write you a song and sing it to you.Well, my mother thought that was the most beautiful and thoughtful thing that anyone could have done. When she heard Patrick sing she said Patrick you are so gifted with your music and always stay with it. I remember Aunt Pat saying to me it was the best thing she could do for Patrick to take piano lesson, and he became a natural at it. Patrick was raised by wonderful parents, brothers and sisters and good family values thats why he was inspired by so many friends, because he loved meeting people and traveling. Patrick spirit and memories will live forever and may he be in peace with Mom and sister Christine.God Bless the family Love your cousin Janice

Monkeys

Everyone knew from an early age Patrick and Tai would be trouble.
We could never keep them apart.
One would conclude, by looking the picture, Tai is obviously the rebelious leader. As I reflect on both of these adorable little creatures, I still don't know who was the ring leader.
(One thing to consider.....What was Kim doing while these two were being photographed)

This is from Philly native Dave Kapla, now living in Alaska. He sent it to the gmail account and asked that I post it:
~~~~

Patrick was the rare soul, one who never failed to have a warm smile and an open heart to any lucky enough to have crossed his path. His laughter at life was large and infectious, you could not help but be swept up in it. He will be remembered fondly and forever as a true friend. I consider myself very lucky, and miss that laugh already. To those that knew Patrick and know me, we'll share a drink for Patrick when I see you in Philly. Keep on rockin, Dave

Alaska Love

This was sent to the gmail account - to make it easier for Bev (the author), I am posting it on her behalf:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not the most technologically advanced individual, so I just hope this goes through.

I was stunned to read this morning's paper - three obits of young people - all friends of mine. (The other two were 22 and 17, and were students at the school where I was principal a few years ago.)

But Patrick! He was a bigger-than-life guy, wasn't he? We became friends when my husband and I met Patrick at our favorite Mexican restaurant years ago. Patrick was our server, and I was at once curious because he was wearing a Scout camp tee shirt which I recognized (I have worked with the Scouts for over 30 years). I was wearing a Scouting event vest that has my name embroidered on it, and Patrick and I were both delighted to discover that we share the same last name! He and my husband decided that we are not related, though. Oh well...

That was all it took, but it was enough. Over the years, I'd get Patrick a new Scout shirt when they came out - it became our big thing. In fact, I have one in the van right now. My husband and I took it by Garcia's last month and were surprised to learn that Patrick was no longer there. He seemed like an eternal fixture. With confidentiality such a big contemporary issue, I was having no luck tracking him down, and I was so disappointed.

When we'd go into Garcia's, we always asked to be seated at one of Patrick's tables - we'd sit and wait, if we had to. He was worth it! He'd always give me this booming, "Hi, Bev!" and his trademark big hug, then he'd solemnly shake Bud's hand and ask, "How are you this evening, Dr. Kirk?" He was such a spoof.

This afternoon I called the phone number listed in the paper and barely got into a conversation (during a memorial service!) when the call dropped. I'll try again in a day or two, when I feel that I can talk.

Things are seldom slow at Garcia's, but on rare occasions Patrick would have time to squeeze into the booth or seat next to me and we'd talk about snow-machining, dogs, Scouting, or life in general. Several of my kids are older than Patrick was, but he was such a spoof, and such a very special, precious friend. I loved him a lot, and am glad that he knew that. Patrick was a wonderful, unique guy to know. I will always love him and miss him. God rest you, Patrick, my dear friend. Go in peace. Go in love.

Bev Kirk

Before There Was E-Mail....

Patrick was writing the old fashioned way!

Anchorage Daily News Obituary

PALMER
Patrick Kirk, 33
Palmer resident Patrick Joseph Kirk, 33, died Sept. 4, 2005, at Valley Hospital in Palmer.
His ashes will be interred at Harleigh Cemetery in Camden, N.J. For more information, go online to friendsofpatrick. blogspot.com or call Ray at 1-907-632-3653.
Mr. Kirk was born June 30, 1972, in Camden, N.J.. He graduated from Collingswood High School in Collingswood, N.J., and attended the University of Arts in Philadelphia.
He moved to Alaska in 1998 and resided in Anchorage and Palmer. He worked for Garcia's Cantina until 2005 and was to begin a second school year as a substitute teacher for the Mat-Su Borough School District at the time of his death. He enjoyed singing, hiking and poetry.
His family wrote: "Patrick touched so many lives in his world travels. The people whose lives he touched will help keep his spirit alive and his journey will continue."
His family added that he was much loved and will be missed always.
His mother, Patricia Kirk; and sister, Christine Malec, preceded him in death.
He is survived by his father, Vic Kirk of Florida; sisters, Fran (Kirk) Madison, and Cheryl Kirk, all of New Jersey; brothers, Vic Kirk Jr. of New Jersey and Doug Kirk of South Carolina; close friends, Shirley O'Donnell of Florida and Ray of Alaska; his dog, Yoda; two nieces, seven nephews and one great-nephew.
Donations may be made to Fran Madison, 260 S. Maple Ave., Maple Shade NJ 08052.
Arrangements are with Valley Funeral Home & Crematory in Wasilla.

Another letter from Patrick
No, this was not a recent letter and I didn't find it on top of any box. I had to dig for this. I kept it since 1978. This was the first (and only I believe) letter I ever got from him.
Joe Locantore and I moved to Tulsa to go to school.
Poor Patrick...the two coolest guys in his life were 1500 miles away.
School didn't work out. We were home a month later.
Patrick believed from that point on that it was okay to drop out of school. I tried to tell Joe we needed to set a good example and finish our education. Patrick picked the wrong role models. (Actually, he did get his "coolness" from us)
I wish he was here, reading this blog. I'm sure he would appreciate the humor.
Seriously though...for some strange reason, Patrick always looked up to me. I've never been sure why. When he and I meet again, I'll be sure to ask him.

Coqui

Tact and Timeless Memories

I thought of two stories that just popped into my head today, that I thought I would share with everyone....both involve my trip to Arizona to see him in the Spring of 2002:

1. In true Patrick style, he was sans car for most of the time he was living in Phoenix. As soon as I arrived at the airport(where he met me with a borrowed friend's car), we drove straight to a rental place so we had some wheels to get us around for the week. We get to the rental agency where a nice woman was helping us behind the counter. Patrick, not wanting to seem rude, prefaced his question by saying: "Please don't take this the wrong way, but when are you due?" To Patrick's dismay, the woman responded with: "I'm actually not pregnant...." Patrick nearly died!!! He kept apologizing, while laughing at his lack of caution. He then asked her if she had recently had a baby...the response..."almost a year ago!!!" Fortunately, the woman was kind enough to pull him out of the abyss in which he was slowing sinking, by admitting she was wearing some of her maternity clothes, and they do tend to make her look a little bigger...he wasn't the first to ask that question....so she said.... ;-)

2. On my last night in town, we spent the evening with one of his friends who was going to Alaska with him, and this very nice lady who was a constant patron in his restaurant (I wish I had her contact information still, because I know she would want to hear of his passing...). She was one of those locals who gets to know you so well, that she tips nearly 100-200% of the bill, just because she likes your company (she was President of her own Medical Insurance company). So, as a goodbye to him before he left, she took him, and all of us, out to dinner for fondue at this great place in Sedona (that's the rich part of Phoenix, right?!). We had fondue gallore, and the drinks to match our meal (margaritas, anyone?). The fun only began there....once the upstairs closed and kicked us out after SEVERAL hours, we headed downstairs to the bar that was still open...our gracious hostess was VERY inebriated by this point! Several rounds later (and an enormous tip to our bartender), she decided she wasn't quite ready to call it a night, and it was imperative that we hit the local Reservation casino....could it get any more dangerous at this point?! At the casino, the drinks continued to flow, while our well-to-do hostess kept us in her company by throwing 100 dollar bills our way to get us in her poker game. Me being a poker novice, I made very risky bets, as did the rest of us. After many more hours of play, we thanked her for her hospitality (and for those of you wondering, we DID return our winnings to her), and made sure to escort her home...she was in NO condition to drive (we had slowed down by that point). Now keep in mind, this was about 6 in the morning, and I had a flight out of Phoenix a few hours later. So, it was back to Patrick's place, packed up my things, and we were off the airport! It was one of those nights that you truly never forget...something out of a movie set in Vegas....one of the best memories I have in my life, and I'm happy to say that Patrick was there to share it with me....

"Now sit the F#$% down and play some poker!"

Letters from Patrick the Conclusion

katewall said...
I have also posted this comment on "Patricks Letters" posted by Fran. I am the third part of this story.... (Its funny to hear a story from three different perspectives, here is mine) I spoke to Fran early in the day. She told me a story of a letter she had found. In a box, on the top, from Patrick. It was so odd that it would be on top, she told me. Then she said, the other thing was that it was in perfect condition. I thought this was wonderful that Patrick had reached her this way. Later in the day I spoke with Marlana. She said she was going through a box to look for photos, and there on the top, clipped to a board, was a letter from Patrick. (at this point I was like, hmmm, sounds familiar). The next thing she says is that the letter was in perfect condition, after all this time. Now, I think this is exactly the same story I heard from Fran. I hang up the phone and go into my office. This blog is on my computer, open, as it has been see we started it. I look at Patricks photo and say, out loud, "where's my letter?'. I guess I felt a bit cheated. I wanted my own. I know this sounds selfish, but I guess I just felt sad. At that moment I decide to start looking for his letters. I immediately find one. It is a typed letter that was sent to me and a few others telling of his move to Arizona. I think, wow , I find the letter that isnt presonal, yet I read on. I will share with you the end of the letter. I am typing this verbatum. It went as follows...

(Letter from Patrick)
...If anyone has an emergency-and needs to contact me- I am sorry- you can't... Hope you can get through it without me!!! Just joshing...

(then in very small type at the bottom)

love from heaven- xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox- Coqui!!!! Patrick


I dont think there is anything else I need to write...Kate

Collage. One of Patrick's recent creations.

Patrick's Memorial Service - DETAILS

A memorial service for Patrick Kirk will be held Saturday, September 24 at 11am at Harleigh Cemetery, 1640 Haddon Ave, Camden, NJ 08103. A reception will follow.

Afterwards there will be a celebration of Patrick's life in Center City Philadelphia. Sadly, Woody's is unavailable due to a scheduling conflict. We are working to secure a new location and details will follow in a seperate post.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Patrick's name to The Attic Youth Center in Philadelphia.

The Attic Youth Center is Philadelphia’s only agency exclusively serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (l/g/b/t/q) youth. Since our inception in 1993, The Attic has grown from a weekly support group in the attic of Voyage House into a comprehensive youth service agency.

The youth-run community center now serves over 600 youth each month while our outreach programs, including the James H. Bryson Institute of The Attic Youth Center, have affected the lives of many thousands within the five county region.

The Attic Youth Center seeks to create a safe, supportive, non-judgmental environment, where youth can share concerns about school, family, and friends, be themselves and take a step from loneliness, secrecy, and self-doubt into participation, belonging, and self-confidence.

By encouraging and supporting a process for youth leadership, The Attic validates the efforts of l/g/b/t/q youth to develop personal responsibility for their lives and communities. The Attic’s vision is one of inclusion where all individuals are valued and respected — a community where all young people have access to the resources they need to grow into healthy, independent, productive community members.

Donations can be sent to:
Attic Youth Center
255 South 16th Street
Philadelphia, PA 19102

215-545-4331

Letters from Patrick

Yesterday, something happened that made me smile and laugh out loud for the first time in days. I was going through boxes of memories in an attempt to find something of Patrick's. The first box I opened I found exactly what I was looking for.
When I opened the box I found a letter, on a clip board. The letter was folded neatly in half and was perfect. It was like the letter was written an hour before I found it. It was written to me from Patrick, dated April 23, 1995. On the front it said...Marlana....Marlana
The letter was Patrick talking about our friendship and love for each other. The letter was filled with thank yous from the past and a seek peak into the future.
I called Kate because I couldn't wait to tell her that I found a piece of Patrick from ten years ago. Who would have thought that something written that long ago could help get me through a day when I could see no light.
To hear that Fran and Kate both found letters yesterday in perfect condition from Patrick lifted my spirit.
Kate, Tai and I planned to meet last night. The night was expected to hold tears and alot of laughs.
Last night as we made a toast to Patrick, we laughed, smiled, and we all agree that Patrick was not going to let us go through this alone. He was not going to let Kate and I cry at a bar for him, while Tai held us and gave us those hard bar napkins to wipe our tears, but he was going to make sure that we all had a really great story to tell.
- Marlana

Coqui Eternal

It was 1992. Patrick returns from a trip to Peurto Rico. He shares, with me, all the beauty and majesty of the rain forest and the wonderful people he saw and enjoyed. He digs into his back pack and, with his usual look of mystery, hides something in each hand. He says, "Pick one." I do. He opens the hand I so carefully choose and offers me a gift... a small, round piece of ceramic fixed onto a piece of leather to wear around my neck. Carved into the mysterious medallion is the symbol of the COQUI. He then went on to explain the origin of the coqui frog and it's importance to the natives of Peurto Rico. At that moment we adopted the Coqui as our own. Patrick and I each wear a tattoo of the symbol of the Coqui over our hearts.

I always felt happy just knowing Patrick was out there in North Carolina, or Arizona, or Virginia or Florida, or NYC, or even Alaska... Patrick is still out there making me happy. He will always be swimming in my soul. Say the word "COQUI!"... Patrick will hear you. Always.

Make Decisions, Not Mistakes....

Although I knew Patrick for only a short time, I am deeply saddened by his loss...

We met in May of 1999, while he was working on the Press Event for the opening of Universal's new theme park, Islands of Adventure. It was a usual night of drinking with friends at Pat O'Brien's, and up walks this total stranger, who had also been enjoying the parties that night. He began talking with our group, and instantly there was a connection. So much so, that I had the honor of sharing his 26th birthday with him several weeks later in Sarasota. Sadly, he moved away shortly after, heading back to the land of Philly, where I know he truly felt at home. We stayed in touch through phone and e-mail, and again had the pleasure of seeing him in May of 2000, while visiting NYC for school (I took a train down to Philly). Although he was suffering from a terrible cold at the time, like the gracious host he always strived to be, we hit the town for a few drinks.

We saw each other briefly in Spring of 2001, when he drove over with a friend to meet me and group of friends from college for a day at Universal Hollywood...one of the few pictures I have of him.

Our next encounter did not actually take place until spring of 2002, when he invited me for a visit to Phoenix, and all of the wonderful sites there were to see. Again, it was a time of change in his life, preparing for his big move back to Alaska, but he went above and beyond, chauffering me to and from different reservations, and topping it off with a visit to the Grand Canyon on Easter Sunday. What a magnificent site, and a magnificent person to share that experience with...

Our last time seeing one another was this past Christmas. As most of you know, he had saved up for some time, and planned a trip to surpise all of his friends in Philly. With that trip, came a quick detour south to visit me, and spend Christmas with his father. It was great just spending time with one another, catching up on our lives, and seeing some of the sites. I had the pleasure of meeting his father, when he surprised him at Disney, and I was able to get them into the park. I'll now never forget the last time we said good-bye, and I hope to see you soon again....if only I had taken pictures of our time together (to this day, I think I have only two of him).

As I process the reality, and the emotions of what has happened, it makes me insane that I can't think of the last time we spoke. His birthday is the last real communication I think we shared....

Isn't if funny the way things happen? He had been on my mind a lot recently, as I took an overseas trip to Asia, and made sure I waved "HELLO" from the sky as I passed over Alaska....sadly, I was no longer waving to the person during my return trip home on Thursday....

What I will always remember about Patrick....his outstanding courage, and the ability to bring it out in others; his great sense of humor; his warm heart; his never-ending hospitality; his AMAZING voice(I heard him sing only once (Janis Joplin) at a bar in Sarasota); his incessant snoring(those of you who have ever shared a room with him will know exactly what I'm talking about....and how could he fall asleep SO FAST?!); but most importantly, I will remember a great person who I looked forward to knowing the rest of my life....

To Patrick's father - it was great getting to meet you this past Christmas, and I'm sorry for the loss of your son...you should be proud of the person he turned out to be...

Patrick - wherever you are right now, I can't wait to see you again, because I know you'll be throwing one hell of a party....

I'm sorry if this seemed long-winded, but I felt that reliving all of my memories with him, would help to make him last forever....

"If I knew things would no longer be....I would've remembered them better...."

Patrick's Letters

I do not know how else to title this. I want to first say that after you read this please check back as there will be 2 more added post under as this story has a continuation....
Last night Thursday I decided that after being boggled by funeral arrangements I would take a break from the phone and go start looking for pictures of Patrick in my memory boxes in the crawl space in the basement. Now my memory boxes are actually 50 gallon rubbermaid totes,overflowing to the brim. I throw whatever I want to save in those boxes at any given time. I started them 23 years ago. I rifled through those boxes last June when my son graduated from High School looking for mementos of his school years starting with kindergarten. Needless to say everything just got tossed back in no order and shoved and crushed to fit. I went through the boxes again this June when my grandson was born now searching for baby pictures to compare of him and my son. Keep in mind the pictures are not in albums just tossed in with everything else. Again everything is tossed back in. Well the first box I open on top of everything sits a letter written to me from Patrick. Undamaged,not faded or yellowed and dated 3/9/95. I prefer not to share the whole letter but just some exerts as follows: Dear Fran, Let me start this letter off by saying I do Love you,and Tony & Jenna with all my heart. I'm learning to succeed in life,and have pride and have my family proud of me. I am aware of my possibilities and I'm aware of the dynamics surrounding this household and this family. With Love, Patrick. Anyway it managed to once again start the tears flowing. When I got up this morning I got a call from Kate and I said to her I have to share what happened to me last night with you regarding Patrick. I preceded to tell her the story and I hung up with promises of talking again later in the day after she talked to Marlana. I did talk to her once more and she had something to add and share of my letter from Patrick.I am going to leave the story here for Marlana to pick up....

A Beginning

Memories. I have 12 years of them packed away in my mind. Patrick and I met on a cold winter night in the final months of 1993. From the first moment, we began a truly unique journey that took us to the highs of inspiration and the lows of despair. We each comforted the other at our hour of need. We would talk for hours, sometimes never actually saying a word out loud. We both discovered the joy of expression via a pen - and spent summer days on my roof overlooking the city, writing out our thoughts long hand in books that we had bought each other - only to stand and read aloud once we reached closure. Slam poetry was never so much fun!

We had an incredible experience in 1998 when we sat in the front row at Tin Angel to watch poet Jim Carroll perform for two non-stop hours, cigarette after cigarette. He had no ashtry so he would hand his almost finished butt to PK, who would put it out and then put it away in his own cigarette box - leaving with 12 stubs smoked by the man that inspired us both. When he left for Alaska, he gave me 6 of those stubs and took the other 6 with him. What was someone's garbage was our bond.

When PK was my roommate, our relationship intensified - we learned how each of us ticked and that also helped us undersand ourselves better. When he moved away, we were not sad - since we understood what we had developed.

Once I scored a deep discount long distance plan, we would call each other and talk for hours at a time. He would take me hiking via his cell. I would take him to breakfast at the diner round the corner via my cell (back when I still had one, that is).

Over time, I will share some thoughts and memories that I have of Patrick but the bottom line: Patrick wasn't my brother, wasn't my friend, wasn't my oracle, wasn't my soulmate . . .

Patrick was me. And I am Patrick.

We were, and continue to be, two peas in a pod. He might have moved on from this earthy plain, but he has not left my heart or soul - nor will he ever.

- RD

Remembering

Marlana commented earlier - but its such a great comment, I wanted to post it so all can easily share in her memories...
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Marlana said...

My mind has been flooded with millions of memories of my friend Patrick over the past few days. My heart has not yet stop aching. I know I am not alone in this feeling, and to all of you that are suffering like I am, I am so sorry. Let's remember Patrick !!

When I met Patrick, we were at bar bar in NJ, both of us trying to blend in because we were 18 years old. Patrick was listening in on a conversation that I was having with another friend. Patrick was laughing so hard at what we were talking about he immediately got my attention. We became best friends overnight.

Anyone who has ever met Patrick, has had their lives changed for the better. Patrick's free spirit was filled up with love and devotion. Not only for all of his family and friends, but for strangers that he would meet on the street. He was truly an angel on earth...OK maybe not an angel all of the time, but definitely most of the time.

The greatest gift that Patrick has given to all of us was himself. He gave with every thing that he had, always 100%. When Patrick put his arms around you to hug you, you can feel how much he loved you. Patrick's smile could light up a room. Patrick's voice would calm anyone who would listen.

I could tell a billion PK stories, but so can everyone else. My greatest Patrick Kirk memory is every single one of them. I for one am so grateful he came home to all of us over the holidays. He brought us all together in one place to be with him, because he loved us all so much.
My best friend, my brother figure, will never die in my heart.

Marlana Caprara

Another Blog of Patrick's

http://kennicrap.blogspot.com/

From a Friend in Alaska

Here are some of my thoughts:

Patrick brightened my life in so many ways. He was a delightful, cheery fellow. I can recall some very funny stories and some teary ones also, which he shared with me. I still chuckle at the image of Patrick playing daily Bridge with Ross Perot's mother! He was the most thoughtful, considerate man I've ever met. He took great delight in other people's successes. I remember Patrick calling me at work one afternoon with great enthusiasm. He laughed and said, "Did you win, did you win last night? I have to know!"......I remember laughing so hard with him because he was as excited as I was over my win. We became a mutual admiration society, sharing with great joy our daily successes and encouraging each other when we were having a down day. I enjoyed hearing all of the details of his poker wins. He could recount each and every one of them to me in great detail. Patrick truly had a great love for the game. My husband, Norman, thought the world of Patrick. He often laughed at us recounting our many adventures at the poker table. As I am an only child, I had come to think very fondly of Patrick. We were like peas and carrots ;) There is now a large hole in my heart that cannot possibly be filled until I see my dear friend again. He's much loved and will be greatly missed by all of those whose lives he so beautifully touched.

Love, Tammy

Patricks Great Nephew

Anthony Robert Locantore Jr.
6-30-05
Born on Patricks 33rd B-day! Again Patrick was able to leave another memory for us! We will certainly remember you on your B-day Patrick and your great nephew will know you as well.

Dad & Shirley @ Patricks in Florida

This was taken at Sarasota to mail to Patrick

My Baby Brothers

Me and my 2 "baby" brothers through the years

My Baby Brother

Thank-You to all of Patricks Friends for helping us in this time of sorrow. Patrick touched so many lives in his world travels and that will help keep his spirit alive so that his journey may continue on. We love you and miss you.
Fran

Proud

This is a picture from 1989 of me and my brother Patrick. I believe it's the only good picture that exists of us together.

September 4

On this day, Patrick Kirk began a spiritual journey to a new home. Although deep inside we all know that Patrick knew how much he meant to us, this space was created so that we could share those moments with each other.

I know that PK, who had a fond love for technology, is watching above, as our ultimate webmaster.